Dear 18+ Nigerian,
It is high time we stripped hypocrisy of its Nigerian citizenship.
I came across this post on PDAs (public displays of affection), a while ago. Some Nigerians are very averse to PDAs – their discomfort stems from different reasons. They don’t want to spoil kids, it’s un-African, they feel uncomfortable, etc.
It’s not uncomfortable for you to call your kids all kinds of disgusting and unproductive names: “Stupid child”, “Look at his head like his useless father”, “Useless child like her prostitute of a mother”.
Calling kids to referee fights and take sides, while two adults who cannot control themselves (otherwise known as ‘parents’), trade verbal and physical blows, does not count as corrupting the kids.
But a hug, a kiss, holding your spouse’s hand in public – will corrupt your children. OK. The message you’re passing across is that love is this dirty, undesirable, sordid thing to be hidden.
It is the same reason that your daughters will fly into bed with the first male that says he loves her. Then, you’ll be crying, “E gba mi, o! Anwuolam! But I brought up this child in church. How can she be pregnant at 15?”
It’s the same reason that your adult son will be genuinely confused when his girlfriend says, “I love you” – not because she wants something from him. He will refuse to marry her, because he believes she is spoilt. Then, the one that keeps lashing out at him and breaking his electronics, as if she’s an escapee from a psychiatric maximum security institution, is the one he views as normal – because that’s what you’ve taught him.
It is ‘not our culture’ to even hold hands of the ones we claim to love, in public. It’s not dignified.
But when they die, it is your culture to roll on the floor and threaten to jump into the grave, IN PUBLIC. To prove your love. That is dignified?!
Now, we’ve added a social media dimension – mourning people on Twitter, Facebook, etc. when they didn’t hear half of your ‘broken Shakespeare’ from you in their lifetime.
It is the same reason that Nigerians who claim to be holy, start getting unnecessarily excited and going gaga, when sex is mentioned. So many sexually repressed and love-starved folks …
Start your deliverance process by meditating “Songs of Solomon” in that Bible you say you’re reading. Two chapters, a day. Please.
All Rights Reserved, Chioma Nnani