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Letter To My Daughter

I like to think I would be a kinda … liberal mum/aunt/god-mother.
Partly because I know that ‘forced leadership’ does not work.
Imposing your beliefs on a child has a nasty way of backfiring. All that living vicariously through your child/niece/god-daughter … isn’t for me.

letter to my daughter_main

When you have a life of your own, the desire to see someone else as a mini-version of you … a mini-person who is only permitted to do what you want, is quite minimal.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t help them with the benefit of experience.

Among the mistakes I am sure you will make, changing yourself to suit the perception of others, is one that I hope you will skip.
That is one of my own definitions of HELL ON EARTH.

There are few things worse than trying to gain someone’s approval, by succumbing to the pressure of being someone you are not.
Church, family, society, men, even other women – will all have opinions on what a ‘decent, commendable woman’ should be, look and sound like.

You will love what you see in the mirror, but that will not define you … unless you’re planning to get into pageants, which will … we will cross that bridge if/when we get to it. After you have attained the age of 18, of course.

If you’re drop-dead gorgeous, you will contend with people who genuinely believe that being easy on the eye is synonymous with being empty-headed. Like me, you will learn to be amused by such a stupid notion – especially because they will have made themselves easy prey. This will be the case whether you’re in academia, the Arts, commerce, or any other profession. If you’re as competitive as I am, in time, you may become dissatisfied at the defeat of an opponent who didn’t take you seriously, at first. Because of what you look like. You will learn that some people are genuinely surprised by ‘real’, because all they are used to is ‘fake’. That is what they are.

Regardless, you will learn to recognise the phrase ‘beauty with brains’ for the diss that it is. Because it means “You’re a beautiful woman. What a shock it is that you’ve got a functioning brain!”

Y’all – daughter(s)/niece(s)/god-daughter(s) – haven’t arrived yet.
But I am trying not to get nervous about the shenanigans you could pull, just because you’ve got some of my blood …

All Rights Reserved, Chioma Nnani

1 Comment on Letter To My Daughter

  1. Enenwali Nnamdi // October 5, 2015 at 7:40 am // Reply

    Beloved Chi Chi, I shut down my facebook account for personal reasons but must confess to miss your insightful posts on that platform. Howbeit, i am blessed to have you on twitter and now-the fearless story platform. In many ways, you have been there for me-like when through your write-ups, you create a better version of me that i could juggle upto if i am willing to. You have caused self criticism, you have brought down stereotypes and you have by your God-given gifts made me a better person. I pray that this hearty admissions would be a source of inspiration for you to do more. With love.

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