My mother thinks I never listen to her.
Sometimes, you act like you’re not listening it … or because you’re not nodding and smiling or looking remorseful or whatever – people get tempted to think you’re not listening. Yes, I can and do zone out on occasion, but that’s the subject of a different post.
Anyway, one of the things my mother told me was – what you cannot finish, do not start. Love will not see you through.
OK, not in those exact words. The words she used were more scary – at least, I thought they were scary at the time.
She was like, “If you know you won’t take off your husband’s shoes, everyday when he comes back from work, you’d better not start. The day you stop, there will be problems and they’ll call a family meeting for you!”
I know I’m digressing a bit – but ‘family meetings’ are basically these gatherings where a wife is terrorised in Africa (OK, Nigeria). Again, subject for another post. Or a series of posts. But back to this one …
Anyway, I used to wonder what she was on about.
I don’t, anymore.
I read lots of comments from women who have shot themselves in the foot. Trying to prove how much of a good, African, virtuous wife they are. Cue eye roll and gag.
I don’t know what the matter is. When I was dating my husband, he had no money. But everyone said I should be supportive. So, I bought my own wedding gown. My sister thought I was crazy, but I had already loaned him the money to buy my own engagement ring. He even paid my bride-price with the money I gave him. Till today, he has not paid me back and we have been married for five years! Anyway, that’s not my problem – the problem is that my husband is so lazy. He doesn’t lift a finger in the house, except to change the television channels with the remote control. And to feed himself. Even if our child is crying and the food is there, my husband will not feed him. Can you imagine? I complained the other day and he said he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he is doing. That I saw him like that and married him. Then, he called me ‘desperate’. He even accused me of cheating on him; he said that I must be having an affair with another man, that I am comparing him to other women’s husbands that I am sleeping with. To make matters worse, my mother-in-law is on my case. She says that since her son married me, he hasn’t been sending money. I am so heartbroken. What can I do, to make him change?
Lady, are you serious?!
Copyright © Chioma Nnani